05/20/05     2005 Pre-Season Report

Unlike other years, pre-season 2005 took a different tone this year due to scheduling conflicts and impending wedding of Craziness.  The Lochside LineDrivers decided to boycott officially sanctioned games and instead played all of his preseason games in Cuba, to show his support for the jumping tree frogs of the Dominican Republic.  Asked why Cuba and not the Dominican Republic, and the “Old Man’s” response was, “Where am I, I’m old and lost, can someone take me home for a nap.”  The FireBallers and BeanBallers spokespeople had little to say and wished the two-time champion better mental health for the upcoming regular reason.

Well there were two official pre-season games between the defending Champion Burlington BeanBallers and the Fenwick FireBallers.  Game one was a close affair, where both teams struggled to get their batting into regular season form, but when all was done, the FireBallers won the game by a narrow 4-3 margin. Game 2 saw both teams bats come alive. The prevailing winds helped to propel the score into uncharted territory, with the FireBallers again being victorious with a 14-12 margin.

05/20/05     Update: New Rule Changes for 2005 FlutterBall Season

This off-season the FlutterBall Board of governors convened once again in Las Vegas Nevada on April 1^st to 5^th, to go over the previous season, and come up with some new ideas to help to further improve this great game of FlutterBall.  While the majority of the discussions at the board meeting will remain private, based on the slogan “What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas”, one major concern was the number of tie-games that were eventually won by a walk in extra innings.  To help change the current walk to win structure of extra innings, it was decided that all games that are tied after regulation will only have one extra inning, and that each inning will start with base runners on 1^st and 2^nd base only, (unlike last year where the bases were loaded).  In addition the winner of an extra inning game will only gain five points, versus 10 points last year.  By making these changes, the board of governors hope that more games will be won in regulation, since it is in the teams best interest to gain the additional points there.

The second major change agreed to by Board members was to no longer implement the semi-final series format in the Chantler Cup post-season.  Only the top two teams will advance to the post season, for a chance to win the coveted Chantler Cup.  This change will help to make the regular season that much more significant, and should also help to improve the enjoyment of games for our great fans.

Finally, there will only be one mid-season skills competition every year versus the three normally scheduled in the past. Points will still be awarded toward the final season totals.  Having one skills competition, will increase the importance of each regular season win or loss.

04/19/04     Fenwick flutterball field upgrade

This spring some major upgrades were performed on FlutterBalls premiere facility, which help to insure the name "Fabulous Fenwick FlutterBall Field" correctly describes the facility. When the other major baseball facility in Canada, Toronto's Sky Dome is experiencing some sharp criticism for its unfriendly baseball conditions, and poor fan experience, the Fenwick FlutterBall facility has again garnered unwavering fan support.

Some of the major upgrades performed this spring include: A) Re-surfacing the batters area with high impact-absorbing padding and new artificial turf, which will insure that our star players will continue playing injury free for years to come. Also to keep it fan friendly and environmental, FlutterBall resisted the urge and operational convenience to completely re-surface the entire field with artificial turf, and instead kept natural Kentucky blue grass for the remainder of the playing surface. B) Purchased new line-making equipment to insure that consistent and easy to see foul lines are always in place. C) Added brand new temperature and timing displays to the field, to insure that our fans always know the most up-to-date conditions. D) Created brand new signage for the field. Which includes a new highly visible field name, upgraded outfield champion signs, upgraded extended foul poles, and a brand new centre field fan amusement-batting target. E) Re-painted the entire facility, (outfield fence, batters area, foul poles, dugout, signage, etc), with high quality enamel, to bring back new life to every corner of the park.

04/18/04     ufc belt causes excitement

New this year is the introduction of the on-going regular season points leader award. Unlike other leagues and sports that just highlight the ongoing standings during the regular season, FlutterBall always being one step ahead commissioned that a special Regular Season "Undisputed FlutterBall Champions" belt (from now on referred to as the UFC belt) be hand crafted by a top award manufacturer, which will then be awarded on a game to game basis. Now after each completed game, the belt will be placed in the possession of the current regular season points leader, therefore it could theoretically change hands three times every week-end. When surveyed fans were excited about this new award, and many stated only in FlutterBall could such a progressive and fan friendly idea come about. Stay tuned this year, with your eyes focused on the main page of FlutterBall.com to keep up-to-date on which star currently holds the FlutterBall - UFC belt.

04/18/04     local woman puts craziness in a pickle

An unnamed FlutterBall groupie came forth last weekend to announce that she was officially engaged to the Burlington BeanBallers star player, Rich "Craziness" Ivancak. She claims that in the fall of 2003, she met Craziness at a local bar shortly after he lost his semi-final matchup to the FireBallers. "He was quite inebriated but spent the night romancing me to the point that he gave me an exquisite diamond engagement ring... he vowed to make it official on his 31st birthday... I was sworn to secrecy up until now" she commented. She was also overheard saying that his team's lack of on-field accomplishments would not deter her from marrying this stud. Craziness was unavailable for comment but the Board of Governors have revealed that he has attained the services of a prominent LA lawyer to look into the matter.

04/01/04     FB TRAINING CAMPS OFFICIALLY OPEN

Burlington BeanBallers - Former star Craziness reported to camp TWO weeks late and arrived in questionable shape, and with an even more questionable attitude. While it was rumored that he was training in the off-season to attempt to make a strong come-back after 4 very sub-par seasons, after the team physical, doctors reported they saw absolutely no improvements. They followed up that statement with allegations that his physical health has deteriorated more then expected. It appears that his 30+ year old body just is not holding up as well as expected. Of a greater surprise is the lack-luster attitude that "Craziness" demonstrated with his refusal to comment on past failures as the teams designated "Franchise Player" to bring home the "Chantler Cup" to Burlington. It appears that instead of taking the criticism, "Craziness" would rather blame his teams failures on the various crazy things, in his own words... "I was NOT at all disappointed with my performance last year, rather I believe that the real reason for the BeanBallers lack of success is due to the rather bland uniforms we wear. Come-on were no longer in the 80's, lets get some pizzazz. I draw all my inspiration to play not from our fans, but how I look, cause everyone knows that its better to look good then to play good."

Lochside LineDrivers - "Old Man" Todd arrived on time to camp with a surprisingly up-beat attitude. After the physicals were performed the doctors were extremely surprised with the results, and commented that they never saw someone of Todd's age in such great shape, and asked what he has been doing to stay in the shape he's in; Todd's response was ... "I'm very happy to hear I'm in such good shape, really I haven't been doing anything special, in-fact I really haven't been doing anything at all. Must be running after my kids that is keeping me youthful." This comment baffled the doctors, and caused them to re-examine their documents, and to their surprise Todd was not 58 years old, that was a clerical mistake, and the kids that attended the camp were not his grand-children but rather his!!!! After correcting his age, the doctors re-released the physical results, grading Todd's physical state a "D".

04/01/04     LINEDRIVERS NEW 2004 UNIFORM UNVEILED

The Lochside Linedrivers were pleased to announce an impromptu April press conference to showcase their new 2004 team jersey. Many fans could be seen lining up outside the FlutterBall Field Clubhouse to purchase the new duds. Critics were quick to point out that the new uniform does not allow fans to appreciate the physique of their hero due to it's baggy fit. However, Old Man vowed that on occasion he would play his games with his sleeves rolled up to allow spectators to see his 24 inch pythons.  

03/04/04     Craziness Contemplates His Future

After his most recent playoff meltdown, Craziness finds himself at a crossroads in his career. In the opening game of the playoffs versus his arch-nemesis Mark "BoomER" Pacan, he simply snapped after his opponent made numerous attempts to crowd the plate during a scoreless game. After throwing out a slew of profanities and berating his shocked opponent, Craziness appeared to make a conscious decision to give up his 2003 Chantler Cup quest. After losing the opening semi-final game 2-0, Craziness took the field in a lackadaisical manner and served up some floaters on route to an 8-1 defeat. Out of the playoffs, he assumed his role as the outfielder for the Finals. Some shoddy play in the field had fans whispering conspiracy as the LineDrivers had numerous chances to take control of the championship series. Craziness dispelled any truth to that theory as he came up with a crucial putout that sealed the deal for BoomER. After all was said and done, management hinted that Craziness might have lost some of his passion for the game and was frustrated with the ethics of some of the league's teams. His focus was dwindling as the team seemed to have flat-lined in the last three years. Nowadays, Craziness quietly goes about his business... training and strategizing for the upcoming season. Management has noted that Craziness might be in for a new look, going away from his traditional black attire. Pending the league's approval, the upcoming season for the BeanBallers will be one to watch for all FlutterBall fans.

03/03/04     FB Revs Up For Another Thrilling Season

As opening day quickly approaches, the FB Board of Governors is once again hard at work preparing for an exciting new season. With several top secret projects slated for the early spring, teams will be happy with the additional improvements set for the playing facility. As for the teams themselves, players have slowly reported to their respective training camps and began their optional workouts. Three-time champion, Mark "BoomER" Pacan has opted to start a cross-training regiment that includes some ice hockey and ball hockey. He is more concerned with the possibility of some teams folding to protest his dominance of the league. Craziness has spent significant time in a gym after his 2003 playoff debacle. He continues to focus on his inconsistent hitting and feels some upper body strength will vastly improve his RBI production. Old Man has modified his approach from years past. He has been seen gallivanting from one keg party to another as he believes that he must rid himself of the demons prior to the start of the regular season in order to be successful. LineDriver management has once again refused to comment on the situation and do not see any disciplinary actions forthcoming at this time.

03/03/04     Old Man Optimistic In 2004

A jubilant Old Man sits down to discuss his 2004 predictions and dismiss any rumors of retirement. When asked what his goals were for the upcoming season he answered swiftly... "to stay clean and win another championship." One cold night in late December, he found himself alone in the dark in his in-laws garage, reeking of beer and cheesy vomit. He vowed the next day to sober up as friends and family pleaded for him to avoid future keg parties. From that point, he swore that his next beer would come from the prestigious Chantler Cup. When asked whether he felt any specific part of his game needed improvement, he answered with a resounding "no." He felt it was only necessary to work on becoming a more consistent player from game to game. As for the notion of retiring, Old Man simply said that he could not afford too. Due to the team's lavished lifestyle and the increasing future costs of tuition for his three children, he projected a career that might end in his early 60's. Old Man lamented, "Another championship would definitely bring in some big money, guest spots and tv commercial opportunities... especially with a face like this."

04/22/03     Who will win the Cup in 2003? Will the Fenwick FireBallers Three-Pe

Mark "BoomER" Pacan is looking to make it a THREE-PEAT. Vegas bookies gave 250-to-1 odds for him to repeat as both the regular season champ and Chantler Cup champion, but that didn't stop the Fenwick Fireballers from doing just that last year.   Now a possible three-peat is in the works, and Fireballers star, Mark "BoomER" Pacan thinks the odds are now in his favour. "Often teams that have tasted as much success as the FireBallers become complacent, and do not put out the required effort to continue to excel.  Look at the LA Lakers this year, they have all the same players but now instead of dominating they are battling just to make the play-offs! The Fireballers owe it to the great city of Fenwick to continue to strive to be better, and create even loftier goals in 2003. One of these goals is to stake claim of the best dynasty of all time in Flutterball, and make this Decade the decade of Fire!!"

04/21/03     Are Craziness' Days as a BeanBaller Numbered?

BoomER continued his hot streak over the off season by competing in a charity ball hockey tournament. He dominated offensively, carrying his team to the semi-finals, only to be knocked woozy by flagrant elbow to the cheek. After stumbling to the wrong bench, he was heard mumbling "two... two.. did someone say two-time FlutterBall Champion?" Teammates where quick to give him the smelling salts and send him back into the game.
Immediately after the playoffs, Craziness took up a full time vendor rep position to ease his troubled mind. Rumors persist that he occasionally vents his playoff frustrations onto unsuspecting Home Depot customers and associates.
The off season has seen Old Man attempt to relive his youth by spending ample time with his children. He was also overheard bragging that he had attended a two-kegger bash that kept him up past his team curfew of 10pm. Management has refused to comment on what disciplinary actions where taken to keep him focused on the upcoming season.
Fans are speculating that the Barrie Smoke and their franchise player Derek "Toby" Rusin may be coming out of exile sometime during the middle of the 2003 season. Several years back he found himself in the center of game fixing charges brought on by the Board of Governors. Although he was never officially connected to these allegations, he decided to take time off and refocus his approach to the game.
All teams have had a last chance to prepare for another competitive season of FlutterBall. The various teams have set out their regimented schedule using weight training, exhibition ball and therapy sessions to get in game shape.

11/07/02     TWO-PEAT!!!!!!

The Fenwick FireBallers did what everyone said couldn't be done, not only did they repeat as regular season champions, but they also fought back after a game one loss in the 2002 Chantler Cup Finals to win three straight games and the franchises second straight Chantler Cup. But before the bubbling champaign dried and the fans celebrations settled down the question was already asked, is a three-peat possible? Has a FlutterBall dynasty been created? and finally which if any team can pose a viable threat to a FireBallers complete domination?

When interviewed, FireBallers star Mark "BoomER" Pacan tried to deflect the spotlight instead focusing on the thrilling game four victory and his stunning pitching performance that held the BeanBallers scoreless for over 16 straight innings, which is an all-time Finals record that will likely never be broken (since 16 scoreless innings are equivalent to over five straight scoreless complete games).  BoomER also recorded a new Finals record ERA of 0.16!!!! BoomER commented, "I am just too happy for words right now, Fenwick is a great town and deserves all the accolades that come with back-to-back championships. Fenwick has supported this team through a rough start as a franchise but it has all paid off, two-fold.  This is such a sweet victory because it proves that this team is the dominant franchise in FlutterBall, and is not a one year wonder, since I have beaten both the LineDrivers and BeanBallers in the Finals in consecutive years" .... "This year I focused on pitching strikes, and thus reducing costly walks that in past years gave my opposition easy runs. I feel I have turned a corner in my development as a pitcher, and now have complete control over the  plate and in-turn have forced the batter to hit my best pitches, not the other way around."

Reporter: You did not hit any of your trademark home-runs in the finals this year, why?

BoomER: No I didn't, but home-runs were not in our game-plan this year. The BeanBallers pitching was effective in that they did not leave any hanging off-speed pitches over the plate, and when I did connect I was typically too early and fouled off the pitches.  Consequently, I changed my approach in the finals, and for the first time in my life actually choked up on my bat.  I never though I would find myself doing that but in order to win the big games you have to be able to make adjustments and adapt to the conditions and pitches you receive. But don't worry, next season the long-ball will be back with avengeance.

Reporter: How did the weather affect your game?

BoomER: To say that the weather was not a factor in the finals would be completely misleading. The strong winds from center field in game 2,3, and 4 made it feel like there was a second outfielder out their since balls that before would have dropped in for singles or doubles were hanging-up in the wind and allowed for easy outs.  It also eliminated any threat of "Craziness" going yard on me, and that allowed me to pitch hard curves inside without worrying about getting tagged for a long one.

Reporter: Out-Fielding Performance has caused controversy in past years, what are your feelings on this year’s performance by "Old Man" Cooney.

BoomER: The "Old Man" surprised me this year, he seemed into the game and focused on all the plays.  I tried to take a page out of the BeanBallers play-book and just let the fielding take care of itself.  While it did seem like the "Old Man" was making play after play while I was at bat, my pitching was limiting his effectiveness fielding for me since I kept the BeanBallers contact to a minimum. Heck, Cooney did make the final out for me this year, and without that who knows what could have happened  (said BoomER with a whimsical grin).

Reporter: Is a three-peat possible?

BoomER: YES, Guaranteed!!! Next question....

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- A new outfield camera angle and wireless microphones were used in the final game to capture all the sounds and action of the final game. 

- Game 4 saw a first in the league, when Craziness hit a fair ball, which with the help of a tremendous amount of backspin, spun backwards and rolled back under the strike out zone to record the first ever unassisted put out in FlutterBall History.

- BoomER finished the finals with a .217 batting average with no HRs and 5 RBI. He had an outstanding 0.16 ERA finishing with 6 strikeouts along with 14 putouts.

- Craziness finished the finals with a .185 batting average with 1 HR and 1 RBI. He had a respectable 0.78 ERA finishing with 13 strikeouts along with a measly 4 putouts.

- Old Man performed very well during the Chantler Cup finals. He accumulated 20 points to be carried over to the start of next season. BoomER will carry forward 16 points.

11/07/02     BeanBallers Looking to Re-Focus for 2003...

After going three straight years without either a regular season pennant or Chantler Cup win, the Burlington BeanBallers are in need of a major shake-up.  They have the first-overall pick this spring in the 2003 Entry draft, and speculation already has them either picking up a promising Ben "Bam-Bam" Cooney for long term franchise stability or else trading the pick for a short term solution to end their losing trend.  Batting for average has always been a staple for the Burlington franchise since it was relocated from Stoney Creek four years ago, but it always seems to disappear when the going gets tough.  Sixteen plus innings of scoreless offense will not help Craziness win any new fans, even though his pitching was solid.  While he has 3 more years remaining on the guaranteed 6 year contract he signed after winning the franchises only Cup in 1999,  he has not lived up to the expectations of management.  Since that contract, Burlington has been steed-fast in not signing any more guaranteed contracts with players, and as a consequence have missed out on some good talent the past three years that could have improved the team.  Management refused to comment directly on the failings of the Franchise the past three years, but did put out a press release which stated,

“We still have confidence in our franchises potential to return to greatness. While we do not want to point any fingers, we are looking at all possible ways to improve this team, and we repeat, no-one or no-contract is un-touchable in our quest to return to dominance.”

What this statement means in relationship to Craziness immediate future with the BeanBaller franchise is any one's guess. However, the Teams 50% Owner this past weekend was spotted with Craziness and after their meetings, he was seen extremely intoxicated on two consecutive nights.

The City of Burlington Suffers another Devastating Blow... Dick Bedows ,CHCH

Burlington residents awoke on Monday feeling utter disappointment as both of their adopted pro sports teams fell to defeat this week-end and saw their post season dreams come to a crashing end. First the BeanBallers lost three straight games to lose the Chantler Cup Finals of FlutterBaller to the Fenwick FireBallers three games to one. Then the Toronto Argo's captured second place in the CFL East, thus eliminating the Hamilton/Burlington Ti-Cats from CFL post-season action.  These two events were a crushing blow to Burlington, who’s reputation and residents are often referred to as a "City of Losers".

It should be noted that not all Burlington news was negative this week, as Stats Canada reported that the city saw its unemployment rate decrease (albeit only by one person) for the first time in 10 years. As a result, productivity in Burlington has effectively doubled. Now if only this sad-luck city could continue this trend, things could finally begin to look up for them.

10/13/02     FireBallers One Win Away

FireBallers are in an enviable position... one win away from securing back-to-back Chantler Cup Championships. The FireBallers have taken a commanding position in the best-of-five finals after winning two games last weekend by a single run. The pressure is squarely on the shoulders of the BeanBallers who must now win Game 4 and force a fifth and deciding game.

Game 2 began on a sour note for Craziness as he walked the first three batters to load the bases. BoomER promptly hit a run scoring single to take the early lead. The next at bat saw him hit a towering flyball to center field. Craziness called a double play, on a hunch, and was rewarded by a great catch and putout by Old Man to end the inning. From that point on, BoomER pitched a masterful game to limit the BeanBallers to just one double.

Game 3 was a lengthy affair that saw the game end in the bottom of the six inning with BoomER drawing a bases loaded walk to score the decisive run. After many squandered attempts to score runs, BoomER took matters into his own hands by fouling off a number of pitches to load the bases. Both teams struggled to get extra base hits as a gusty wind from right-centre field kept balls in the ballpark. Craziness was spared an quicker defeat as Old Man robbed BoomER on several hits.

All will be decided this weekend as the FireBallers and BeanBallers are set to face off on Saturday afternoon. As the big day approaches, both teams are in seclusion and are avoiding the press, working on their gameplans. 

After three closely played games, the FlutterBall Board of Governors is very pleased with the performance of both teams in the Chantler Cup Finals. Some clutch hitting and pitching, with some great fielding has resulted in 1-0 victories in all of the games.

- Entering into Game 4, BoomER is currently batting .200 with no HRs and 2 RBIs. He has an on-base percentage of .412 in the first three games.

- Entering into Game 4, Craziness is currently batting .185 with 1 HR and 1 RBI. He has an on-base percentage of .333 in the first three games.

- BoomER currently sports a 0.25 ERA entering the fourth game of the Chantler Cup Finals. He has 3 strikeouts along with an amazing 9 putouts.

- Craziness currently holds a 0.50 ERA entering the fourth game of the Chantler Cup Finals. He has 9 strikeouts along with  a measly 2 putouts.

- Old Man has performed wonderfully in the outfield during the finals. Making one spectacular play after another, particularly for the BeanBallers. To date, the LineDrivers have accumulated 12 pts to be carried over to the start of next season. BoomER will carry forward 14 pts for his fine defence in the semi-final round.

- Tickets are still available for this weekend's action. Weather forecast for Saturday: Snow Showers. Daytime High in the mid 30s and overnight low in the upper 20s

10/08/02     Chantler Cup Finals: Game #1

BeanBaller's Craziness used his timely hitting and pinpoint pitching to stun the FireBallers and take game one of the best-of-five Chantler Cup Finals. After a gruelling three game set with the LineDrivers, the victorious BeanBallers kept BoomER off balance with a strong combination of fastballs and curveballs, never giving the FireBallers a chance to get their homerun swing into gear.

FlutterBall analysts believe that BoomER lacked his hitting prowess as a result of the two week layoff after clinching the league championship. He had spent three games focusing on his outfielding performance in the semi-finals and never really got a chance to swing the bat. His pitching was in fine form, with only one hit (a solo homerun) causing the defending champion some grief. The BeanBallers left the bases jammed in the top of the second after BoomER effectively executed an inning ending double play.

As predicted by the odds-makers in Vegas, a final series between the BeanBallers and the FireBallers would most definitely be a low scoring affair with key base hits determining the champion. BoomER has already been quoted as saying that he was rusty the first game but that his batting stoke will undoubtedly pickup. He is confident that the HR by Craziness was aided by a gust of wind and that if he consistently busts him inside with the curveball and screwball that Craziness will not be able to go the opposite field. Craziness was quick to respond by using his opponents own proverb, "if you don't score runs you can't win games". Craziness is looking to chop the big man down, challenging him to hit his fastball. All the injuries he suffered during the season have healed, albeit he still wears a knee brace as a precautionary measure. The next two games are scheduled for this upcoming weekend.

- Craziness playoff run continues with him batting 0.227 with 3 HRs and 5 RBIs in the semi-finals. He had an ERA of 1.50 in the three games.

- Old Man playoff run ended early with him batting 0.269 with 3 HRs and 6 RBIs. He had an ERA of 1.80 in the three games.

- The 2002 playoffs are being filmed using a new format for better viewing. Two cameras are being used to video tape game play throughout the semi-finals and finals of the 2002 Chantler Cup Playoffs. The first camera gives the viewer a shot of the action directly behind home plate. The second camera is used to film the outfielder and any action that occurs near the outfield wall. A third camera is in the works. It would be setup directly to the right of the green monster to capture the pitcher's delivery to the plate.

- Video tapes of the game could be made available on special request at a cost that has been yet to be determined by the FlutterBall Board of Governors.

- As a result of his late inning heroics, Craziness has been given the nickname, "The Cardiac Kid" for this year's playoff run. In his last three games, Craziness has pulled off a victory with some timely hitting in his last at bats.

-Tickets for the 2002 Chantler Cup Finals can be purchased via email or directly at the box office at Fenwick FlutterBall Field. Group rates are available. For groups larger than 20 people, please call the box office three days prior to next game. 

As expected the Semi-Final match-up between the Lochside LineDrivers and the Burlington BeanBallers was a nail-biter. Game #1 was a pitchers dual as the two teams pitched six scoreless innings to force an extra inning. The game ended when Old Man took an inside fastball and deposited it over the right field wall. Game #2 saw the LineDrivers take a commanding 3-0 lead into the bottom of the third. After squandered opportunities to end the game, Craziness scored four unanswered runs to win and force a third and deciding game. Game #3 saw Craziness hit a clutch two-run HR in his last at bat to take a 2-1 lead into the final half inning. Two automatic KO's later, the BeanBallers found themselves going to the finals to face the league leaders, the FireBallers. 

09/28/03     FireBallers Finish First Yet Again

BoomER did the impossible last year, coming from last place to first on the final weekend of the regular season, then going on to capture his first Chantler Cup. This year there was no need for heroics as a red hot start had the FireBallers out in front all season long.

There was little doubt that the FireBallers were for real. An early season six game winning streak combined with a convincing All Star Challenge win gave the defending champion an insurmountable lead over his league rivals. The second half of the regular season proved a little tougher as he finished with a 3-5 mark. A couple of lengthy promotional tours by the team may have caused some fatigue in the second half, however, his focus still remains strong, winning back-to-back Chantler Cups.

BoomER must now wait and see who he will play in the finals in a best-of-five series.  He dominated the LineDrivers finishing the season series with a 5-2-1 record. The pesky BeanBallers offered more of a challenge finishing their series with a 4-4-0 record. A LineDrivers-FireBallers matchup could mean a lot of runs will be scored and the pressure might squarely be on the shoulders of the outfielder. A BeanBallers-FireBallers matchup could be a low scoring affair with key base hits determining the champion.

BoomER was on pace to set a new FlutterBall record for most HRs and lowest ERA in a season. A late season funk erased those hopes but he finished the season batting .389 with 23HRs, 65 RBIs and with a 2.55 ERA.

- Old Man ties the single season homerun record with 25 round trippers in his 2002 campaign. He shares the honors with BoomER who accomplished the feat in 1999.

- BoomER crushes the 2001 single season batting average record (.292) with a .389 average through sixteen regular season games.

- Craziness beat his own record by successfully tallying 32 fielding outs this season. The old record was 28 in 2001season.

- Craziness and BoomER still share the record for most fielding errors in a season with seven. The old record was also shared by the two with 5 each in the 2001 season.

- The grueling 2002 schedule was completed in a timely fashion even with all of the scheduled promotional commitments during the year.  All the teams are to be thanked for their efforts.

- Rumors persist that BeanBallers management may trade their 2002 draft pick for a full time corporate job during the off-season. Craziness may lower his white collar career goals and accept a mail room position if extra incentives are thrown into the deal.

- Reports are coming in that the LineDrivers and FireBallers have been spotted together in the northern part of Ontario. Apparently the two are enjoying some fishing and leisurely activities prior to their respective playoff runs. BeanBaller's Craziness has become suspicious of the two as they are normally bitter enemies when they are in the presence of one another. He hopes that no sort of collusion will come out of their impromptu meeting.

The Lochside LineDrivers and the Burlington BeanBallers will meet yet again in the semi-finals, something that has become all too common for the two. Most hardcore fans see this as an entertaining match-up as the series almost always goes to the third a deciding game. Both teams will have to rely on their fielder to make timely plays in the outfield as every hit ball will be crucial in determining who will advance to the finals. The ultimate deciding factor will come down to Craziness' pitching versus the hitting power of Old Man. It is well documented that Craziness is a strikeout pitcher and has a tendency to throw right down the middle of the plate. He must select his pitches well and keep Old Man guessing on the corners. He must also avoid walks at all cost as they are generally a prelude to disastrous innings. Old Man is known for his good eye as he is more than willing to take close pitches to get runners on base. 

09/04/02     BeanBallers Head Injury Heals

It appears that the Burlington BeanBallers severely swollen head has shrunk back to its original size after two straight lop-sided loses this past week-end. Doctors noted Craziness’s abnormally swollen head was due to the enormous ego he developed after winning five straight games prior to this weekend.  After starting the season with five consecutive losses, the BeanBallers rattled off five wins to bring their record back to .500.  This week,  BeanBallers suffered two demoralizing loses, where they were clearly over-matched.  Team personnel were later over-heard commenting that they were relieved that the swollen head had returned to its regular size since they were about to cut out a larger door into the clubhouse since his large head was getting stuck every time he attempted to enter or exit the structure.  All of the other phantom injuries that the BeanBallers reported in past weeks have seemingly disappeared in week #6, including his knee brace.  Speculation has it that numerous injuries (hic excuses) are about to be issued by team management to explain the teams’ poor performance including one severely bruised ego.
On a related topic, after two victories "Old Man" Cooney was overheard by co-workers on Tuesday morning boasting about his rounding out into peak playoff form.  League insiders responded to this by stating that the only thing rounding out on the "Old Man" is his gut, and that they believe his head is beginning to swell just as Craziness’ did last week, with the only cure being a sound beating in week #7 compliments of the BeanBallers and FireBallers.

- Stars from the world of FlutterBall were proud to put down their bats and gloves to showcase their golfing skills at the second annual Greater Fenwick Open at the Riverview Golf and Country Club during the September Labor Day weekend. A skins format was introduced for the first time with the first six holes paying $4 each, the next six holes $6 each and the final six a whopping $10 per hole. BoomER won the tournament convincingly with his consistent overall play.

- BoomER showed his strong swing with a 310 yard drive on a 400 yard par four. Craziness sunk a crucial birdie putt on a long par five, while Old Man won a $20 playoff in a double overtime putt-off against BoomER. Fans were treated to a highly competitive round with all proceeds going to the 2002 Pacan Games.

- BoomER suffered minor scratches to his upper right arm while trying to track down a homerun ball. Moments later, he nearly injured his ribcage trying to catch another homerun. BoomER brushed off the pain to score 10pts in the outfield and help the BeanBallers avoid a double digit loss.

- Craziness has officially broken the record for most fielding errors in a season (7), after committing two errors in his last game. No comments were available at press time. 

- The LineDrivers organization is patiently awaiting the arrival of their third addition to their family. As a result, the team owner ordered the purchase of a new mini-van to avoid any transportation problems that may cause the team to be late to future games.

- A quick message from the Board of Governors reminding all teams that FlutterBall Field will be closed for the upcoming weekend as it hosts the 2002 Pacan Games.

BoomER Early Leader in MVP Balloting....

Mark "BoomER" Pacan of the Fenwick FireBallers is the early leader in the League MVP Balloting as he holds a commanding lead on all other players in a number of statistical categories.  BoomER currently leads in all three of the batting categories (batting average, HRs, RBIs) and in Earned Run Average. Combine this with his strong fielding, it should come as no surprise to even the casual fan that the FireBallers top player is garnering 5-4 odds in Vegas to win the title of League MVP with just two weekends left in the 2002 regular season.

08/27/02     Burlington BeanBallers Building Momentum

With three weeks remaining in the 2002 regular season, the Burlington BeanBallers have picked a perfect time to make one helluva run towards respectability and the Chantler Cup Championship. After starting the season with a disastrous 0-5 record, Craziness has roared back to .500 with some clutch hitting and aggressive pitching. The last five games has seen his opponents score a measly three runs, a result of throwing more pitches for strikes.

 The comeback has not been without its hardships. Entering the season, Craziness was hampered with a nagging shoulder injury and ailing right ankle. During the mid summer break, he suffered an untimely strain in his right calf muscle. And just a week ago, Craziness suffered yet another injury in his downtime, as he strained his medial collateral ligament (MCL) in his right knee. The use of a knee brace helped provide stability to the inner part of the knee during his two victories this past weekend.

Craziness was quoted as saying " the body is not what it used to be but the heart is still there... with first place virtually out of reach, building momentum into the playoffs is my number one goal." Craziness stressed that his last victories over the FireBallers were no fluke, it shows he can compete with the powerhouse BoomER in tight ball games.

A semi-final playoff series with the LineDrivers is carved in stone. Focus will be on maintaining home field advantage and avoiding a slugfest with their veteran Old Man.

- Organizers for the 2002 Pacan Games approached the FlutterBall Boad of Governors with a proposal to rent the playing field and clubhouse for their one-day event. As one of the premier recreational facilities in the Fenwick area, the games officials felt it would compliment the huge turnout that they expect as well as host a number of competitive events on the well groomed playing field. The Board is expected to agree to the terms with an added stipulation that FlutterBall is actively promoted during the competition.

- A lively partisan crowd showed up this weekend to cheer on the LineDrivers and BeanBallers. Support for the first place FireBallers appeared to be very low. Rumor has it that FireBaller fans are riding out the season knowing the team has already clinched first place overall. Baring any unforseen set back, it is being reported that fans are planning to come out by the dozens for the Chantler Cup finals. Security will be stepped up for the finals match-up.  

- Rumors persist that the latest knee injury suffered by Craziness during his off-time were over-exaggerated. Other teams in the league questioned the use of a knee brace and A535 sports rub prior to the start of his game. Craziness was quick to inform those individuals that he is well within the rules and guidelines of the league and that he would never jeopardize the integrity of the game for his own gain.

- LineDrivers and BeanBallers team ownership were seen mingling during this weekend's games. Many believe that they were discussing their respective teams battle for 2nd place in the league. Both declined to be interviewed.

- Groundskeeper Blackie took another deserved week off and traveled to the US. He is looking into innovative new ways of keep the playing field in top shape for the playoffs.

2-7-1 is not the typical season for the former two-time FlutterBall champion, the Lochside LineDrivers. After a decent start, Old Man has not tasted victory in his past six games. In those games, the Linedrivers have been outscored 34-5 and shutout on three occasions. The FireBallers have been particularly tough on the team. The batting prowess that was once exhibited by Old Man has seemed to have gone into hibernation. Around the league, hard-core LineDriver fans insist that the team is banking on a strong playoff performance that will erase any memory of a poor regular season. Supporters of the team also believe that the hot summer weather has affected his pitching arm. "It is a proven fact that he pitches more effectively in the fall when cooler temperatures and stiff northern winds keep hitters from going deep on the big man," commented team owners. With the help of some skilled fielding, Old Man may prove his doubters wrong and walk away a 3-time Chantler Cup Champion.

08/30/02     Layoff & Jet-Lag Cause Uninspired Effort

With almost a one-month lay-off between games, the Fenwick FireBallers returned to regular season action to face the Burlington BeanBallers on Sunday, July 28th.  Up to this game the FireBallers were undefeated and also sported the best pitching and batting in the league.  But the rust of inactivity as well as jet-lag from a 25 hour trip returning from Australia, may have contributed to the lack-luster performance which resulted in their first loss of the season 2-0 to the Burlington BeanBallers.  Not only did they lose but they were also shut out for the first time in 2002, and struggled at both the plate and the mound. This win for the BeanBallers was extremely important since that win coupled with their victory over the Lochside LineDrivers puts them in second overall with the same LineDrivers.

While the FireBaller fans were noticeably disappointed with their teams inability to remain undefeated in 2002, they
were uplifted when the FireBallers opened their second game against the Lochside LineDrivers with a 7 run first
inning out-burst.  Three homers were registered in the first inning alone, with the third being a monstrous grand-slam
effort.  This win along with strong fielding in the other match has helped to keep the FireBallers firmly entrenched in the
first place position, substantially ahead of both rivals.

On a more gloomy note, the Lochside LineDriver's are winless in their last five games. Two of those games have resulted in huge blowout loses. The opposition out scoring the lowly LineDrivers 15-4.

- BeanBallers ownership group is not pleased with the performance of Rich "Craziness" Ivancak, and have been reported to have tightened the strings on their star player.  We have been lead to believe this includes restricting his un-supervised time and also closely monitoring his exercise routine.  Speculation has it that his off-season attempt to gain muscle mass to go after the single-season home-run record by heavy weight training has in fact lead to an undisclosed arm injury that has hamper his pitching. Ownership is especially unhappy that Craziness would be willing to sacrifice team success for personal glory.  By winning their first game of the year just before the all-star break the BeanBallers have been able to buy themselves a bit more time to woo-back their fans, and not provide management an additional reason to clean house.

- Speculation has it that the LineDrivers and the BeanBallers both covet the number one draft selection in 2003.  While neither team has openly stated their poor performance this regular season is due to the potential wind-fall that comes with a number one selection, rumors are circulating since this years projected #1 is a potential super-star.  One team that is not interested in the 1st pick are the FireBallers who already have two #1 selections signed and are very pleased with their progress so far.  Eve Cooney (1999) is already taking batting practice and showing strong signs that being a power hitter is in her future, while Elle Cooney (2001) is starting to gain velocity on her curve ball and is gaining arm strength.

- New foul lines are expected to help the pitchers get more outs but the rumor is that the LineDrivers are skeptical this will help their team as they do not believe their pitcher will be able to convert these additional chances into outs.  They feel that due to the age of their star player, additional running for more fair balls will only lead to extreme exhaustion and increased scores by the opposition.

After arriving back in Toronto on July 17th from a whirlwind tour of Australia, the 2001 Playoff MVP Mark "BoomER" Pacan only had positive things to say about the trip.  While FlutterBall demonstrations and exhibition games were too numerous to comment on individually, a highlight was playing a sold out match at Fraser Island against the semi-pro team named the Fraser FoulBallers.  It should be noted that the caliber of the opposition was not equal to the teams fielded in North America, but the Aussies still had enough skill to showcase the talents of BoomER and give the fans what they came out to see, towering homers sent far over the fences. BoomER commented that, "Australia is a great country and reminds me allot of Canada, except for driving on the other side of the road, and the unusual snacks that the fans eat at the ball-park.  I'm used to seeing hot-dogs and popcorn, but here they are all eating meat pies and kabobs, very strange. But in all I think this tour was a success due to all the positive feedback and smiles on the young children's faces."

06/23/02     League Leader BoomER Australian Bound

Mark "BoomER" Pacan continued his torrid pace in league play by demolishing the Lochside LineDrivers 8-1 and then following it up with a 3-0 shutout of the lowly BeanBallers. BoomER added to his league lead using a combination of strong pitching and sheer batting power. He lowered his ERA to a minuscule 0.47 using an array of pitches to get his opponents out. In the batter's box, BoomER was able to smack out another five homeruns to take a commanding lead in all of the major batting categories. 

After his two wins, the team announced that it was headed for a three week national tour of Australia to promote FlutterBall. As an ambassador of the league, BoomER will showcase the sport to the fans down under and will also hook up with The Barrie Smoke to discuss their return to the league. Derek "Toby" Rusin was extradited from FlutterBall after allegations were put forth that he was conspiring to fix playoff games in 2000. As no real proof could be found of his involvement, he decided to leave for Australia until the dust settled. Rumor has it that he has made several attempts to start up a second FlutterBall league near Sydney. High start-up costs have made it difficult to find other teams.

Family and friends would like to wish the FireBallers a safe and exciting trip. They would also like to extend an invitation for a quick return to the Barrie Smoke. Plans maybe in the works for an exhibition game between the two teams. Date and time will be announced when it becomes available.

- Lochside LineDrivers have scheduled a two week promotional tour in mid July to "meet and greet" their fans at local Ontario campgrounds. Old Man will be appearing, along side his family to sign autographs and pose for pictures. A question period will follow each scheduled stop, with the franchise player and LineDrivers management answering any concerns that fans may have.

- The Burlington BeanBallers have passed on all opportunities to market the team this summer. Management had come to this decision after it realized their star player was suffering from a number of injuries and would need some time off. A lingering upper arm injury is currently being re-habed by Craziness. The injury appears to have slowed down the speed of his pitches as well as affected part of his accuracy. Surgery will not be required. Moreover, an untimely calf strain is slowly healing after Craziness had overexerted himself during the last weekend of ball games. Recently, he also met with a chiropractor to work on his ailing right ankle. Some quick therapy helped relieve the pressure on some damaged ligaments. Craziness would like to thank his fans for their get well emails and promises a stronger performance in the second half of the 2002 season.

- Rumor also has it that Craziness is in the running for an off season managerial job that may bring financial stability back to the team. He has been playing this season for the league's minimum salary as the team is in a restructuring phase.

- New foul lines have been set for the remainder of the season. The lines extend from the front corners of the back stop to the base of the foul poles. More balls shall remain in play which will help to speed up the game play and avoid difficult foul ball rulings.

As a result of the FireBaller's national tour to Australia and the LineDrivers promotional drive throughout local campgrounds in Ontario, the Flutterball season will start up again in the first week of August. During the time off, groundskeeper Blackie will ensure that the field is kept in immaculate condition during the hottest part of the season. Foul lines have been re-done and the pitcher's mound will be cleaned up in anticipation of the next weekend of games. Minor repairs will be completed to any other parts of the field that may have been damaged during game play. The FlutterBall Board of Governors have also decided that the next All-Star Skills Challenge will be held during the first weekend back from the league's hiatus. Huge points are at stake for the league's bottom dwellers as they attempt to mount a second half comeback on the league leading FireBallers.

06/16/02     FireBallers Fired Up To Start '02 Season

Mark "BoomER" Pacan has started this FlutterBall season where he left off last year... red hot!! After winning the coveted Chantler Cup Championship in 2001, BoomER immediately went out and won this year's first All Star Events challenge in strong fashion. This past weekend, the FireBallers effectively defeated the LineDrivers 3-2 and then dismantled the BeanBallers in a 5-0 route on a gorgeous Sunday afternoon. 

BoomER appeared to be in amazing form after a long off-season. He pitched two solid games, while instructing his fielder to make other routine plays.  His bat was on fire as he launched four monster homeruns to straight away centre field. As Old Man commented, "things that go that fast usually have passengers on them." Craziness refused to comment on the three homeruns he surrendered to BoomER.

The two victories have given the FireBallers an impressive 53 point lead early in the 2002 season. No team has ever gone the regular season undefeated, nor has anyone won the Chantler Cup two years in a row. BoomER has set his targets on breaking some records this season as he was recently overheard questioning the tracking and accuracy of previous year's stats, citing that he felt he may have been cheated out of several records.

Will the FireBallers burn out as the season progresses... that is what all FlutterBall fans have on their minds.

- The Board Of Governors are close to reaching a decision to further enhance the batter's box with the inclusion of black rubber mats. They would ensure that batters would not have an unfair advantage from either side of the plate as well as further protect the carpeted area. 

- Accusation were flying over the weekend that BeanBaller's star player, Craziness, had arrived to his games hung over after an early morning "pub" session. Fans had noted a hint of beer on his breathe and concluded he had consumed more than his legal limit of one beer per day. His game play only fueled rumors that he was not himself. His recent condition is eerily similar to that of former WWE superstar Scott Hall of the NWO, who's career spiraled out of control after he hit the bottle again.

- Old Man continued to show the younger FlutterBall players that age does not matter as he split his weekend games and powered three homeruns out of the park. A strong showing of family support helped the gray haired LineDrivers captain overcome poor conditioning and a pair of bum knees.

- Grounds keeping head official, Blackie, refused to repair the foul lines for the opening day games due to the lack of incentives negotiated into his 2002 contract by the FlutterBall Board of Governors. Days later, League officials apologized for the miscue and offered him tickets to an upcoming MLB game in Toronto to watch the Blue Jays face off against Barry Bonds and his San Fransico Giants. 

- The webmaster is proud to announce a new set of action pictures and field snapshots coming to the website. Fans will be able to see the playing field up close and also view their FlutterBall heros in the heat of battle. Special thanks to the brilliant photographic skills of Tina Cooney.

The Board Of Governors are proud to display the newest edition of the Official FlutterBall Website to their dedicated fans. After several weeks of hard work and collaboration with all FlutterBall members, the webmaster has come up with this latest creation that encompassess everything that fans need to know about the league, teams and players. Full of new photos and articles, the site will be maintained on a regular basis to keep fans in touch with this revolutionary new sport. Detailed Standings, Game Scores and Statistics will allow everyone to keep track of the progression of their favourite teams and star players over the course of this long 2002 FlutterBall season. Everyone associated with the league would like to thank fans for their continued support over the past years and hope they can introduce their friends and family to the world of FlutterBall.

10/26/01     FIREBALLERS WORLD CHAMPS!!

The streets of Fenwick Ontario were in a frenzy Sunday night, as the entire town celebrated its' first professional sport championship, as the Fenwick FireBallers lead by Mark "Boomer" Pacan captured the prestigious Chantler Cup which signifies the FlutterBall World Champion of 2001.

Fans could not have asked for a more exciting series which went the full five games before the FireBallers were able to drink from the cup for the first time in franchise history. To make the achievement even more spectacular was the fact that the FireBallers came to win the series after losing games one and two, and faced the possibility of losing in a sweep to the defending Chantler Cup Champions the Lochside LineDrivers as they trailed one-to-nothing in game three.

Then the fortunes of the FireBallers changed as their pitching suddenly improved, and they went the next two and a half games without surrendering a single run. Their batting strategy also seemed to change, since from that point on they hit exclusively to the opposite field, away from the strong out fielding provided by Rich "That's Craziness" Ivancak.  Game three ended in a score of 4 to 1 for the FireBallers, followed by game fours' two-to-zero outcome, again in favour of the FireBallers, with both runs coming off a monstrous homer by Boomer to straight-away center field.

With the series tied two games a piece, the FireBallers who now had home field advantage for the pivotal game five, started the game off pitching very inconsistently, and only after loading the bases, Mark was able to settle down and strike out Todd "Old Man" Cooney to end the inning.  The bottom of the first inning then saw Todd also struggle to gain control of his pitching, and by the end of the first inning the LineDrivers walked in two runs.

The second inning for the FireBallers appeared to be an exact repeat of the first since Mark again struggled pitching strikes as he loaded the bases again for the LineDrivers. But this time the accurate throwing arm of Richard Ivancak threw out a runner coming to home to end the top of the second inning, and cause the LineDrivers to leave the bases loaded in two straight innings with nothing to show for it.  Leading two-to-nothing Mark "Boomer" Pacan lead off the bottom of the second with a towering blast to the opposite field for a solo homer and a commanding three-to-zero lead.  At that very moment the pro-FireBallers crowd erupted in anticipation of their first championship, and the cheering continued as the FireBallers mowed down the LineDrivers in the final inning to secure the win and Cup.

Post game interviews captured the feelings of Mark "Boomer" Pacan as he commented, "I feel on top of the world, this is my crowning achievement pulling off this victory, but I want to make it clear that I did this for my fans who supported this team from the beginning, they deserved this win more then anyone, and I promise to let each and every one of them drink out of this cherished cup and share in this celebration."  Mark followed through with his statement by allowing the Fenwick FireBaller faithful to join him as he Paraded through the streets of Fenwick stopping the car procession numerous times to allow the Fenwick fans an opportunity to take a sip from the cup. The parade finally ended at the home field of the FireBallers and was followed by a celebration to end all celebrations.

During the celebration, FSN (FlutterBall Sports Network, official broadcaster of the Chantler Cup Series) was able to get a comment from the Lochside LineDrivers star player Todd "Old Man" Cooney; "What can I say, I have to tip my hat to the FireBallers, I thought they were out of it after the game two loss, but they kept fighting and played some of their best ball ever. I think our team just lost our focus; we won the Cup last year, and thought we could cruise to another win, but we just couldn't capitalize on the bases loaded opportunities that were presented to us today. Hopefully I will be able to re-sign with the LineDrivers next year, and the Drivers' can come back to take the cup in 2002."

It should be noted that the entire pre-game, game, and post game video coverage is available from FSN, for all fans that would like to have a copy as a souvenir of this monumental Chantler Cup Series contact FSNvideos@flutterball.com to secure your complimentary copy. Also check out http://www.FlutterBall.com for more interviews and late breaking developments this off-season.

Even after a demoralizing last place finish in the 2001 regular season the Burlington BeanBallers announced on Monday following the completion of the 2001 post-season that they will be raising season ticket prices by 10%, and increasing single game tickets by 12%.  When asked to comment on this increase in tough financial times Burlington Director of Sales and Ticketing commented; "This may not be the best time to increase prices with our poor 2001 performance and the decline in the economy, but we had no choice but to increase revenue to insure that we can attract quality players to our team so that we can become competitive again for 2002. Not that we are unhappy with our stars performance (Sic. Richard Ivancak who has two years remaining on a 5 year contract) but it is our GM's opinion that something has to be done immediately, and since we have a substantial amount of money tied up in current contracts, we need some more to push us over the top. I just wanted to re-iterate to our loyal fans that season tickets for the Burlington BeanBallers are a tremendous value when compared to all other professional sports."

To help soften the blow, season ticket holders who renew their seats and pay in full before December 1st, 2001 for the 2002 season will only face a 5% increase over 2001 prices, but they better rush because Dec. 1st is only a couple weeks away to save money.

10/26/01     BOOMER INKS CONTRACT EXTENSION

Mark "Boomer" Pacan coming off a victories season which saw him lead the FireBallers to first place in the Regular Season and the Teams first every Chantler Cup Final Victory has reported he has come to preliminary terms with the team on a new three-year extension to the one-year plus team option contract he signed at the beginning of the 2001 season.  At that time Boomer commented, "The past two seasons have been a disappointment, and I want my performance in the 2001 season and post-season to be the basis of a new contract. I am willing to bet my future employment on this season, because I feel a player must perform to be paid well."  Well perform is exactly what Mark did this year, and the gamble will pay off quite nicely, since speculation and rumors have the extension effectively doubling his yearly salary, thus making him the highest paid player in FlutterBall history.  The FireBaller Director of Player-Personnel Development commented that: "Signing Mark Pacan to a lengthy extension will help to secure our teams place on the top of the standings for years to come, and we will do anything to insure he wears our uniform until he retires, we are hopeful that he plays for many years though!!, and then at that time I expect our young draft picks in 1997 and 2000 will be able to step up and fill his enormous shoes."Details of this contract will be posted on this site when they become official.

04/28/01     LINEDRIVERS OPEN TRY-OUTS SET TO BEGIN...

The Lochside LineDrivers are looking for players in all positions. If you are an "undiscovered" player, then attend any of our up-coming workouts for your chance of making the team.The Lochside LineDrivers were the team of the 90s in the Canadian FlutterBall League, winning the championship 2 times. The Drivers' have won many championships over the years, more than any other team in FlutterBall history.

In order to return to our dominating championship form, we need players - players who are talented and care strongly about winning.  Our last two FlutterBall titles were back in 1998 and 2000. During this time we engaged in engineering many tryout camps and signed more than half of out training camp roster from these invitational workouts; many players who became instant impact stars in FlutterBall. We are now returning to our off-season hardworking search efforts.

BELOW IS more information and Answers to frequently asked questions:

 Q: What positions are we looking for?

 A: ALL position areas! Our FlutterBall season consists of 4 exhibition and 20 regular season games and then the playoffs. This is comparable to 2 college seasons rolled into one. As a result, we have to replace most all position areas at one point and time during the 2001 season due to injuries and waivers to continually upgrade.

 Q: What are my chances of a contract with the Lochside LineDrivers?

 A: If you are a player who is now "undiscovered" and you do not attend one of our workouts, then you have NO chance. Obviously our coaches and scouts will workout many players and we will sign the best players possible.

 Q: What if I workout and I do not time out well or feel as if I could have done better?

 A: We have other workout dates and locations available. Feel free to engage in another workout at another time. Many of our top signees from the past attended at least 2 workouts. This gave our coaches and scouts a better look at them.

 Q: Explain the cash only registration fee.

 A: This is a very nominal fee used to offset the expenses of the workout staff from their travel costs. FlutterBall has taken a strict budgetary approach in recent years regarding all salaries, expenses, etc. This league has remained strong throughout the years and has weathered many hardships and has stayed in business providing great sports entertainment for its fans, unlike the XFL, WLAF, USFL, WFL, etc. and even MLB which is now contracting teams for the 2002 season.

 Q: If I am impressive in any of the workouts, how will I get contacted in order to sign a contract?

 A: Our coaches and scouts will recommend players to our General Manager. We will have your registration papers from the workouts. We will discuss your workouts at length and we will contact you. DO NOT repeatedly contact our offices wondering about your status. Be patient. If you do well and our staff feels that you will compete to win, then we will contact you.

 Q: What if I am an underclassman at my college and I have another year or so to play for my college team?

 A: We will only work out players who have exhausted their college eligibility. Finish your college ball. We will follow you. We will invite you for a workout when you finish college. Everyone in the Lochside LineDrivers organization wishes you the best. Good luck!

 WORKOUT SCHEDULE AND CAMP INFORMATION

 A) Tentative Practice Format

 8:30AM - 10:00AM Registration and player briefings  (Timing in short shuttles and 40 yard dashes)

10:30AM - 1:00PM Pitchers

12:30PM - 1:30PM Batting drills

1:30PM - 2:30PM  Fielding/throwing combination work

2:30PM - 4:00PM  Batting Drills

4:15PM - 5:30PM  Pitching

6:30PM - 6:00PM  Running skills

6:00PM - Conclusion

 B) What to Bring

 Shoes - 2 types needed: for flat surface, & grass cleats -  Shorts/T-shirt/Sweats/Glove/Bats  - (No Helmets necessary)

 Arrival

We recommend that you arrive the evening prior to registration and select an inexpensive hotel near the workout area (or one you can afford) in order to get a good night sleep so you are fresh and well-rested.

 E-Mail Tapes to Us

DO NOT bring tapes to the workouts. Our coaches and scouts are traveling light and will not be immediately returning to our training facility in Stoney Creek. Send any highlight tapes or information packages to our email address: Lochside@flutterball.com

 C) Contract Discussions

This will exist only after the workouts between the General Manager and players and/or player representatives by method of telephone or fax transmission conferences.

 D) Registration Procedures

Please arrive at the workout sites as early as possible as the timings will begin immediately after everyone is registered. You must present $0.75 (cash only) for the registration. NO checks or I.O.U.s.

 E) Locations & Dates... Please contact Lochside@Flutterball.com for more details on dates and locations.

04/27/01     WHO ARE THE TORONTO TORNADO'S?

S    Speculation is rampant about the possibility of a new franchise located in Toronto. The league has not released any official comments but the league has been teasing the fans by including the Toronto Tornado's in their weekly-mini polls. Rumors have the team will play half of their home games at the Sky Dome. Reports also have the team courting a current FlutterBall All-Star, but no names have been linked to this speculation. FlutterBall This Week's eagle eyed staff reporters have obtained classified documents that contained the new teams logo, and confirmed that the team has received league approval to participate in the 2001 regular season, but have the option to abstain this year and begin operations in 2002. Stayed tuned to FlutterBall this Week for more breaking news on the Toronto Tornado's.

04/26/01     MLB ADOPTS FLUTTERBALL RULES...

Should come as no surprise that MLB is now adopting a strike zone that is strikingly similar to the FlutterBall strike-zone. The MLB head official of umpiring has been touring all major league cities advising the clubs that the new MLB strike zone will be narrower and taller (exactly the same dimensions of the FlutterBall Strike-out zone). FlutterBall officials when contacted about MLB's new rules commented; "We are happy to see that MLB is constantly trying to improve their game and it only makes FlutterBall that much more recognizable when our rules are implemented by the so-called Major Leagues." It should also be pointed out that the former MLB head of operations (Paul Beaston) is originally from Welland Ontario Canada, which is located only 5 minutes away from FlutterBalls flagship stadium (Fabulous Fenwick FlutterBall Field). Mr Beaston has been spotted countless time over the past two years in the area, presumably monitoring how well the uniform strike-zone works in FlutterBall.

04/11/01     TRAINING CAMP 2001 UPDATES

Training camps for the 2001 season have already begun for the majority of FlutterBall Franchises, and below is a recap of injuries: 

·     November 11, 2000
Mark "Boomer" Pacan suffers a minor paper cut at work on his pitching hand. Responds by immediately quitting his job and finds new employment at a company that's top priority is the health and safety of their employees. Mark commented, "I really enjoyed my job at H.J. Heinz of Canada but I could not let it jeopardize my chances at winning the Chantler Cup, so I had no option but to quit immediately."

·     January 24th, 2001
Richard "That's Craziness" Ivancak suffers a major facial trauma while performing wind sprints at the Burlington Indoor Soccer Dome. Initial reports from medical staff on hand were of extreme concern that this injury might cause permanent disfigurement, but after viewing Richards ID photo they immediately downgraded the injury. Medical staff were overheard stating, "Man-O-Man was I initially worried about this patients appearance, but after I saw his ID photo, it just made me feel sad because its not fair that some people get hit so many times by an ugly stick!'

·     January 25, 2001
Burlington BeanBallers management comment that they are disappointed that the facial trauma injury sustained by their star player was not that severe; They were hoping to work in the disfigurement into their marketing campaign.

·     February 24th, 2001
Derek "Toby" Rusin of the Barrie Smoke while training in Sydney Australia suffers from sun and heat over-exposure, which may force him to miss the entire 2001 season. Medical staff on the scene commented: "It never fails to happen, some pail white foreigner comes halfway around the world and forget to pack sunscreen. So what do they do? Buy some sunscreen? Noooooo, they head to the beach instead!!!"

·     March 11th, 2001
Todd "Old Man" reports to training camp suffering from stomach pains and everyone around him seemed to either pass out or suffer a severe headache. Team physicians were initially concerned, but down graded the severity when they noticed the Chantler Cup was firmly clenched in Todd's hand during the entire examination. To top it off, the Chantler Cup was still a quarters way full of BAKED BEANS!!! When the doctor asked Todd when he began eating the beans, he responded, "I think I started celebrating on October 14th, 2000, right after I was awarded the Cup!!". Guess that could explain the smell!!

04/05/01     MAJOR TRADE & 2001 DRAFT PICKS!!!

Minutes before the Barrie Smoke announced their plans to place their franchise on a two year sabbatical, they traded the Leagues 2001 Top Draft Pick to the Fenwick FireBallers in exchange for future considerations and the FireBallers second round draft pick in 2003. This announcement caught all other FlutterBall G.M.'s off-guard and in-turn has secured the Fenwick FireBallers the first over-all selection in two of the past three years. 

The Fenwick FireBallers then wasted no time in announcing they will use the acquired First Over-All selection to secure the rights of Elle Cooney from